and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
