we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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