someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
