We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
