ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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