im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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