there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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