There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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