Yo dont text me then not text me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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