I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
