Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love you. Go after that dick
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
