Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
