i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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