On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
