We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
