Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
