My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize