I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
