I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
