i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
