big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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