Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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