the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
