I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
