Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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