Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
