My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
