part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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