I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
