Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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