Pappa wants mamma naked
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
