Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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