I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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