they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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