Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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