You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
