Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
