is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
