happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
