she woke up with a sticky ear
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you win again, gameday.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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