I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
