I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
