So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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