You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need to calm my uterus...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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