You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
