Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
