i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
