The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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