direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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