When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
