Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
