super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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