there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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