Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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