butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
