That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
